Tuesday, January 24, 2006

An easy space-filling meme

(For a day when I haven't posted due to being busy and stuff)
Via

Seven Things To Do Before I Die
1. Finally get fluent in Japanese
2. Earn (or win) a million
3. Spend that million
4. Earn (or win) a vast amount more
5. Lose heat intolerance
6. Buy a tropical island. With a pub.
7. Stop stressing

Seven Things I Cannot Do
1. Vote Labour (again, currently)
2. Vote Tory (again, currently)
3. Vote Lib Dem (again, currently)
4. Remain loyal to a party
5. Understand religious faith
6. See a monkey without chuckling
7. Do basic arithmatic without using my fingers

Seven Things That Attract Me to… a pub
1. Good range of bitters
2. Being able to smoke throughout
3. No loud music
4. Friendly, but not overly friendly, staff
5. No one under the age of 50 - other than my immediate company
6. A sheltered beer garden for the summer
7. No loud-mouthed knobbastards who are so confident that their tedious job in the City or in some wankhole business consultancy or in sales or in whatever the fuck it fucking is is the most fascinating and wonderful thing in the world that they feel the constant need to broadcast their "success" in becoming a mindless automaton in a pointless profession at full volume to everyone else in the sodding place while occasionally making mysoginistic comments about the barmaids and any other female unfortunate enough to have wandered within a ten yard radius and getting vaguely agressive towards anyone male they happen to make eye contact with despite being too cunting pussy to actually risk getting in a proper fight in case Big Dave who sits in the corner by himself all the time decides to get involved and ruins their cosmetic dentistry with one artful backhand to cheers from all present, the pissing smug twats

Seven Things I Say
1. Pissing shit
2. Cunting fuck
3. How come that talentless fuckhead earns more than I do, the cunt?
4. I'll have it done by tomorrow, honest
5. Cockbollocking wankers
6. I seem to be suffering from a severe case of writers' block at the moment
7. Gah...

Seven Books That I Love
1. The Invisibles - Morrison
2. War and Peace - Tolstoy
3. Easy Riders, Raging Bulls - Biskind
4. Immortality - Kundera
5. Brewer's Rogues, Villains and Eccentrics - Donaldson
6. Collected Fictions - Borges
7. London: The Biography - Ackroyd

Seven Movies That I’ve Loved (at different times and in no particular order)
1. Once Upon a Time in the West
2. Mallrats
3. Casablanca
4. Commando
5. The Magnificent Ambersons
6. Caddyshack
7. Braindead

Seven People To Tag (in no particular order)
1. Tim W
2. Dave W
3. Sunny
4. Guy
5. Soj
6. Katie
7. Sean

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hilarious.

1/24/2006 11:42:00 pm  
Blogger Justin said...

Commando? Caddyshack? And you bagged my for Hudson Hawk.

Still, well played for Once Upon a Time in the West. I wish I'd said that now. Henry Fonda rules in that.

1/25/2006 07:36:00 am  
Blogger Nosemonkey said...

Caddyshack - Bill Murray looking like he's wanking behind a hedge. Co,edy genius.

Commando - Two quotes that make it the most entertaining piece of pro-Reagan propaganda ever (except possibly Predator) "Let off some steam, Bennett!" and "Don't disturb my friend, he's dead tired."

Best film of the 80s, bar none. FACT.

1/25/2006 10:21:00 am  
Blogger Justin said...

And I've read the Invisible like five times and still understand nary a word.

One of the (many) reasons I want to meet Jim Bliss is so he can sit down and explain it to me.

Flex Mentallo. Now there was a Morrison masterpiece.

1/25/2006 10:50:00 am  
Blogger Nosemonkey said...

The Invisibles (bar Volume Three and all the nonlinear storytelling and Sweeney/Wicker Man references) makes perfect sense - perhaps you need this? You simply need to understand that there is no such thing as the Invisibles, and the merging of the two universes is actually simply the birth of the one universe - Barbelith is effectively the view from within the womb. Probably.

You should try The Filth if you want truly incomprehensible Morrison - or go for his X-Men run (which is truly aces) or current Seven Soldiers stuff, which may or may not turn out great. Too early to tell...

1/25/2006 11:12:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, Cunting fuck. ;-)

1/25/2006 11:46:00 am  
Blogger Jarndyce said...

Caddyshack: genius.

"Final hole..."

1/25/2006 04:29:00 pm  
Blogger Oscar Wildebeest said...

"I seem to be suffering from a severe case of writers' block at the moment"

And Tourette's, by the looks of it.

1/26/2006 09:32:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Done!

1/26/2006 10:48:00 pm  

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